More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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