Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize