if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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