question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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