He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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