At least make sure they are 18
Why
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
