sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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