I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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