Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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