Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
