you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
