Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
