we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is wine microwaveable?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
