No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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