But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
