Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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