Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
