i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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