I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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