home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
