I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
