we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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