So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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