Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Sponge bath it is.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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