my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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