i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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