Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
