do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
