capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
