I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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