i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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