It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
