Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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