So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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