it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
