I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
