I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Every concussion has its silver lining
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
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I look excited, but its just a facade.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize