Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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