I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
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All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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