If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
