I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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