I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
