I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
