dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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