SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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