found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
