The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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