Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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