I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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