What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
