walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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