At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
