how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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