Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize