There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
